Drown the Guilt

Emotional Intelligence is an integral part of education. Education, in its best sense, should be holistic. Remaining holistic, consists of embracing one’s vulnerabilities. As an adult or parent, we often feel a sense of guilt when we join the race to keep up with societal perception of perfectionism; but the concept of guilt and blame soared during the ‘Covid’ days; when homeschooling became a norm.

A feeling of intrepidness and human superpowers radiates from the parents who homeschool, while the parents who have hidden in the comforts of the unknown, envision teachers as the gurus of managing a child’s behaviour, whilst also following government guidelines and creating flamboyant plans in order to educate children. Let it be known that many teachers find the thought of homeschooling their own children a deflation to their ego. Managing and educating 30 children is no small task, but homeschooling my own 3 children requires a pedagogy of its own.

“I laugh at the face of danger.” I pictured myself saying this when I entered the realm of ‘The Covid Homeschooling Situation’, but the indirect affirmation to provide me with the power of control, brought me to my knees, and made me realise the importance of paying attention to my blind spot. The treasures only became visible when I became fully attentive to the words and mannerism of the mini individuals that scurried around the house.

It had been 9 days, 6 hours, 25 minutes and 10 seconds, and the volume of my voice increased by many decibels. I am far from being a Stepford wife or mother, and I have narrowed it down to a few conscious changes I have made to my thought process, to embrace the art of innovative home-schooling. Breaking down barriers, I decided to further elaborate on the process of acquiring education.

1. Affirmations: Start our day with one! Being a mum and taking care of children is a monumental accomplishment. We need to give ourselves credit. Life is about making the best of what we have, and adjusting to the beautiful journey we are gifted with. Abolish the guilt!
2. Beauty of the Mind: Children are born with a beautiful mind, and if they continue to believe in their own capabilities and their natural gifted human traits, the world will be grateful for their presence, and will give back to these little souls, what we planted in them. Let the words of positivity be implanted. With the right amount of nutrients and water, a plant flourishes. They will become your mental anchor.
3. Emotions: When we begin to overtly acknowledge our emotions, our children reciprocate this. Managing our emotions is the most challenging task for an adult or child, but with the correct tools, when we master this, opportunities unfold and our perspective of life changes. It beautifies people or challenges we once envisioned to have left scars. But this clarity can only come, if we live in a state of peace and acceptance.
4. Learning Styles: Let us go back to the past and take a moment to remember how much we ‘loved’ doing homework. Let us recall individuals in our class who were a menace to the teacher, but accomplished great things. Let us think of the people who did not achieve the expected and accepted grades, in order to be acknowledged by others, using the mark of societal definition of success in life. Definitions which ‘change makers’ alter.
   
   Children can learn by kicking a ball. Children can learn at a desk. Children may not want to learn at the time you want them to learn, but this is the best opportunity to allow them to be fluid, and grow with guidelines we provide, according to what suits their needs, to flourish. Words and advice will resonate; Educate. Read. Love Learning. Let the controller be in their hands, but the warmth of words and advice sits in ours. Master the art of self-awareness. This is best done through failure and experience. Children should be aware of how to set goals and intentions to drive them to move forward. Learn to live a purposeful life.

Encompass Knowledge: The beauty of being mindful rests on the awareness of what surrounds us. Rules will be thrown at us, sometimes with the intention to help and sometimes to attain order in a fast paced world. But the methodology of acquiring knowledge is not set in stone. Most children find it very difficult and boring to sit at a table to write, but it is amazing and predictable that a child’s eyes light up when we teach kinesthetically and when their voice is heard, and their mistakes confounded by words of affirmation.

Knowledge is attained through various means. A topic like English can be taught through Geography or History, and to master this universal language, we must understand that there is a range of techniques to encourage its growth, in order to reach out to the masses. Knowledge envelopes us if we are mindful of our surroundings, using the gift of our senses and conscious mind. Thinkers will be empowered, through their innovative abilities, yet the educational system stunts the child’s most prized possession, the freedom and time to ‘think.’ Information and the deformation of commercialism is fed through the respiratory tubes, making us feel that set ideologies are the route to progression and success.

Uncertainty causes expounding fears. Fear of not providing the right guidance or opportunities for our children. This has caused society to isolate benefits for themselves and push others off the competitive ladder, not realising that there are a range of tools to climb up together. It is the innovators and collaborators who will find or create the most effective path to success.

Homeschooling is tough. But let this be an opportunity for reflection. Let this be lessons in teaching kindness. Let this be a lesson in learning the power of failure and crossing the border of discomfort and uncertainty. Let knowledge be consumed and learnt through conversation. It is time for children to break the shackles, and for us to provide them with the space for self-discovery, enabling them to make the inner change the universe has been crying for.

Written By: Sukaina Amirali Mukhtar
Mother of 3, Educator, Author
Website : www.love2learn2.com
Instagram : love2learn2